Something's Wrong.

I can feel it inside me. I've never felt this way before. 

Something is there, but isn't there at the same time. 

It feels like I can reach it, but I can't. 

I'm stuck. And I feel I'm slowly losing my mind. 

What do I really want? Which want of mine can I actually get?

I fear how short life actually is. How little time we have.

The days pass us by like a gale.

Anyone of us could be here one day and gone the next.

What if it were me. Almost 18 years are gone, what's left?

How much difference would I have made? 

Who would care?

Our lifes can't keep up with the speed that time moves.

Why do we stay where we are?

Who are we to leave people behind?

Nobody stops to care about those left behind by others.

Why?

It's a cruel world. Lets not make it any worse.

We all need abit of love.

Some need it more than others.

I'm doing my best to give what I have.

But don't let me run dry. 

[Amazing as you are.]

You know I need you.

Your words. Your actions. And you.

edit: HowmushycanIget. -.-

I could write the above sentence because I read the post again 20 minutes after I typed it.

but i guess i really do need things from the one that affects my life the most.

Something i'd love,

are the sweet nothings that just make your heart skip a beat and leave you smiling to yourself.

Those that someone whispers into your ear as and when they feel like.

Those that come in a text in the middle of the night.

Those that let you know just how much you're loved when you're down.

Those that are said, simply because that someone loves you that much.

I don't know if I'm much of a romantic.

But I'd like to have one who is.

Or who could be if she knew it'd make me happy.

(:

HELLO PEOPLE.

Alright. After a long long period of sitting in other peoples' showers and thinking about stuff, I've actually posting a post. with pictures. cool non-emo pictures. :D

I'll start with a something cool I saw not long ago..

This rainbow popped up right above the street I was living on, stretching from one end to the other. I couldn't even get the whole rainbow to fit into the picture!

Rainbows are one thing, but playing around with cute little horsies and a spongebob in the lit room is another matter entirely!

Thats me and Chia How with our mighty stallions!

And that, for you my dear readers, is your affable little blogger with spongebob! =D
Never. EVER. Come between me and spongebob. Or laugh at us. Or even GIGGLE.
I'm watching you.
[Haha, its an inside joke. We were fighting over spongebob. He was the least dirty/dusty/shmoofy soft toy. D:]


Okay and now here's a little personal collection I'm trying to start, its called Joshua and the 20 cent rides! [Though the price has risen to crazy amounts, like as much as 2 bucks?] Haha. Anyways, just to get things going, heres two of them!
Cookie monster ride@Harbourfront Centre!

Thomas the Engine ride@United Square!

Oh yes, talking about United Square[dammit i KEEP SPELLING SQAURE WRONG. haha.] Anyway, I had a buffet dinner there on friday night! It was a treat by a special lady in my life. My grandma. (: Lol. Yup, anyway we had dinner at a place called Vienna. Though half-expecting like posh local/angmoh waiters and waitresses to go with the name, every single one of them were chinx. every. single. one. Haha, but the food was damnnn good though. Me and my cousin spammed the alcoholic peppermint drink. I had like 7 cups or smth :D Hah. It wasn't all that alcoholic though. And it tasted like mouthwash.. ><

Hokay, and here comes the finale. THE finale. Of pictures from a boy's[MAN's] phone. This is what happens to you when you're stuck in a situation where you can't get a girl.. Guys. Who else can give you more love than anyone else when you're in that situation? Scroll down to find out (:
[Only in that situation dudes, if you already have a girl, its an obvious decision what you should do instead.]Threesome.

Threesome yet again. :D Guess our lucky number haha.

Alright thats all for now! It's good to be back.. I'll post again soon yeah!

Anyway just a small note!
Apologies for the not-so-good quality pictures..
Their from a 2mp phone camera. AND.
This post is entirely made to make you laugh (:
Especially the finale!
And its especially for a poohbearlover's enjoyment.
:D

Hey guys, sorry for the really seldom posts which usually turn out quite un-fun. All you loyal readers deserve better! And guess what, I've got just a couple of pictures for you guys to enjoy. And they'll be up pretty soon! Say, by the next post? 

A whole new side of this little blog's writer.

Hehheh. Don't kill yourself while you're in suspense. And yes of course, I know all you people miss me. I miss you guys too :D Yup, even you, the one staring at this right now. 

'Cept for chiahow d=

but seriously, we need to catch up. (: its been too long.

And the Thinking, here it Starts.

sitting in the bathtub under the shower.

thinking, as the water pours down on me.

there's no time, yet so much to do.

what happens next?

btw my friends, it's time for us to catch up.

Honestly, I'm finding myself in the exact same position as you right now.

Think hard and you'll know what I mean. 

This only goes on for so long.

I guess care and concern is something I would love to give to you, but apparently the things that are going on right now are making me think twice. There will come a point where you will have to choose too, like him, and that point is not very far away..

I'm truly confounded by the way you treat me while you're treating him like that. I think that if I were to care for my ex that way right now, you wouldn't even bother about me one bit. I'm not asking you to stop treating me the way you do, but I simply cannot live with the fact that someone special to me is treating me as specially as that other guy.

I've got a little issue with the trust between us too. Who is to say what you have done, are doing, or are capable of doing, when we both know that you are so ready to do so many things. Though I really want to, there are times when I simply cannot bring myself to trust you. Don't blame it entirely on me being paranoid or whatever. Frankly, you haven't really done anything that has strengthened my trust in you. What I've noticed is the secrets that you somehow have to keep from me and the way you treat guys. Like him. Tell me I'm wrong when I say that these don't help one bit in the amount of trust I have in you. Okay, maybe we just got to know each other not too long ago and all, but that doesn't change the fact that keeping all these secrets does make me terribly suspicious.

You've asked, why am I always so moody? I am partly to blame, but maybe sometimes, you should ask yourself that question too..

I know that there are many things you have done for me,  like accompanying me to study, making time to spend with me and all. You do the most touching things and send the loveliest messages. But is there anything special about that, because I see things like that happening between you and the other guys. Somehow, sometimes you give me the impression you're totally uninterested. I feel so dispensable by the fact that when I'm not with you, there is always someone else. And one day, I'll probably just be dumped aside when I'm no longer needed. Am I just here to fill the void someone else left. Or am I really wanted here in your life.

I have come to this point, where I'm almost on the edge of just letting go and walking away. But who's to say, it was nothing to begin with. Like what you once said him. You keep saying that you are all pissed off and unhappy with him, but I was dumbfounded when I heard you went to have dinner with him. And worse still, you had to keep his identity a secret when you were talking about him to your friends because I was around.

You know, to me you're this bubbly, cheerful girl who is so full of life. Yet at the same time, you seem so capable of being this cold, ruthless person who will dish out terribly torturous punishments to anyone who makes you unhappy. Sometimes, I don't know what to make of you.

I do want to let you know, you're my one and only right now and you have my undivided attention. I'll support you and I'll be there for you. But there will come a point when I want to receive the same amount of love from you. And I'm saying love, not like or any other form of feeling, because I find myself sinking deeper into it. And only love could have made me do the things I've done, and even bothering to even type this out when every sentence I type makes my heart cringe because I know how upset it will make you. But I have to write how I feel, and I hope you will understand, and do something about it. I don't want to have to disappear from your life.

Maybe I'm a fool. Maybe I've been getting the wrong message all along. Maybe what you have for me, is not what I have for you. Maybe  one day you'll come to me and say "I'm sorry, I'm choosing him." Maybe there's more to it than what I've heard. Maybe I'm holding you back from the one you really want. Maybe I should back off. Maybe you'll agree. These Insecurities. Their tearing me down.

*I have given much thought in this, and this is how I feel right now. So please, try to understand where I'm coming from and use it to understand me more. Unless of course you don't want to.

hey guys,
i know i haven't been blogging for a long time now. so, heres a short little post (:

block test is coming up round the corner and i'm sure the bulk of sane humankind are getting pretty panicky or crazy about it. there's barely a week left to study and most of us have not covered even half the stuff we need to revise. i'm pretty sure we all can relate to that. :/

but i guess someone has been brightening up my life quite abit.. and honestly, i didnt think things would start working out this way.. but i just wanna thank that person a whole lot (: u actually make studying fun. and you seem determined to make me fatten up. with a kg of jelly beans :D

SENTOSA! with my churchies again haha.
Enjoy the pictures yeah (: